“I had dental surgery this week. My daughter was thrilled (in a mellow, knowing way), because I was not given pain medicine—–despite the severity of the procedure. The theory behind this perhaps unique form of post operative pain control was that one is only allotted a certain amount of opiates in a lifetime and I had used my coupon. Come to think of it, I may have used a few other people’s coupons as well. And if you think that you may have been one of those people whose coupon I have——–however inadvertently usurped—–Please accept my heartfelt apology.”—Carrie Fisher
“I mean, this is a guy who had shared an office with Bush. But a long time ago. When Dubya was just George Sr.’s son. So they shared this little office and Greg once told me, “You know what Bush has as one of his many gifts? He can fart on command (in keeping with his jolly-college-good-old-frat-boy persona.)” And Greg said that what Bush used to do—when Greg would be expecting people for a meeting—W. would come in and fart in the office and then run, leaving Greg in the midst of it. Like someone in a cloud of marijuana smoke. And then the people Greg was meeting with would come in and, of course, they would find Greg surrounded by this awful smell.
It’s not dissimilar to what President Bush has done to the country.”—Carrie Fisher, Wishful Drinking (via tinypeanutbutters)